For The Thousandth Time Zelos! I'm Not Your Hunny!
by xXXx Wilder xXXx
Summary: A series of 100 ZeloShi One-Shots. I promise I will love you, no matter what. Hey, I don't always show it; but there's no one I'd rather be with than you.
1. Why Shihna Doesn't Wear Dresses

**Why Shihna Doesn't Wear Dresses**

He couldn't leave her alone for more than five seconds. Whether she was showering, shopping, doing village work, or whatever, he was there. It was the Ex-Chosen's most irritating quality. Above his perverted comments, squeezing her brains out through her ears, reminding her that he had the memory span of a fish, and whining like a six-year-old, it was the fact that he never left her alone. That's why she regretted sitting outside on his doorstep, shivering in the pouring rain and knocking on his door.

She waited for a minute, then turned to walk away. It was freezing out, _she _was freezing, and it would take too long for her to get home. Joy!

Before she could, however, he flung it open to see her with her back to him, shaking like a leaf. "Shihna? What're you doing standing out here in the rain? Why don't you have an umbrella?" Zelos raised an eyebrow cautiously. She turned back around and looked up at him with foreboding chocolate eyes that just begged him not to start. Unfortunatly, he can't take a hint, and probably never will. "I know! You came all the way here in the cold so you could—"

"Save it, Chosen. Can I come in or not?" Shihna growled, frowning. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she was standing sort of hunched over. Zelos nodded and waved her in, shutting the door behind her.

"Okay, now don't touch anything." Zelos said as he ran upstairs. "And don't leave the mat!"

"Damn Chosen. Just because he doesn't want his stupid carpet to get ruined he makes me stand all the way over here and watch the fire." she muttered, making a mental note to drown him in a puddle later. She liked the rain just as much as he did when it was probably below zero outside. (Wilder-chan is Canadian. Zero is our freezing point, JFYI.)

"Here, hunny! I have a few towels for you, and my fluffy-robe, so if you give me your clothes, I'll get Sebastian to dry them for you." Zelos returned a few minutes later to find that her annoyed look had turned into a death glare. He set the towels down next to her and stood there, waiting.

"What are you staring at?"

"I need your clothes."

Shihna raised one eyebrow, dangerously, but Zelos just smiled at her. "I'm not taking off my clothes infront of you, and furthermore, not infront of the door."

"AWWW!! Why not?" The Chosen whined, pouting at her. She growled and he smiled knowing her frusteration with him. "I kidding, hunny. You can change in my room. If you wear the robe, I can find something of yours that I made for whenever you stayed."

Shihna nodded and removed her boots, right first and then left, picked up the towels and ran upstairs. It was funny how she had memorized the layout of his house. Ever since she had began working with Zelos and the King she had spent many nights at his home, and therefore wondered why she didn't have her own room. Why not, she practically lived there, anyway.

The robe was sea green, a complimenting colour on Zelos, and even on her. On top of that, it smelled like vanilla and mint; which might have been what Zelos smelled like; but she didn't know what he smelled like, and would rather not know either. She liked it, and wished she had one of her own. Or at least, she was in the middle of wishing when there was a knock on the door. Zelos' muffled voice came out from the other side. "I've got your clothes!"

Shihna rushed to open the door and opened it, expecting something like langerie or a skimpy swimsuit. But, surprizingly, she liked it. It suited her, though she wouldn't have picked it herself. But she liked it... she really did. "Oh... thanks, Zelos. It's nice. You made it?" She recalled his earlier words, _...I can find something of yours that I made for.... _She didn't believe his work could be so good, but maybe she was wrong. After all, he could _cook_ fairly well.

The Chosen nodded in response. "I didn't know what colour you'd like and stuff, so that's why it's black. Apparently it makes you look skinnier. I was thinking of your chest when I made it."

Shihna wasn't sure whether to smack him or thank him, now. The dress was black, true to his words, and looked like it might come to her knees. It was made of a light fabric, was low-cut, and had no sleeves. It wouldn't be the warmest, she knew, but it would be rude not to put it on. She took it from him with no further words.

_Later_

Shihna sat on the couch infront of the fire with her legs curled up next to her. She had disgaurded the robe quite some time ago when she got warmer. It was almost midnight now, and Zelos had left the room for a moment, but she could hear him returning.

"Oh, Shihna hunny! It's dark!" he sang, with excitement.

"So, it gets dark everyday. Why's tonight important?"

Zelos sat next to her and gave her a smirk. She looked at him as if she didn't get the hint. He moved closer to her and continued in a sexy growl. "Well, come on. You almost live here.... You should be paying rent." She glowered at him, hoping he would lay off, but instead he placed his hand on her leg and slowly began to travel up it as he rested his head on her shoulder.

Instantly she jumped up and slapped him, blushing like mad. "Stay off me Zelos! If you want rent, then I'd rather sleep outside!"

He stared at her with a sad look, deep blue eyes with faux tears of saddness and a small frown on his lips. She actually almost felt bad for hitting him.... He almost looked cute.... She realized something now. That he made that face alot. So why was she sitting back down and cuddling into him instead of wiping the look off his face like usual? And why was she falling asleep with him?

Because of a small incident with a dress that she reminded herself never to wear again.


	2. Seles is Seles Backwards

**Seles is Seles Backwards**

"Good morning my hunnies!" Zelos sounded the wake-up call to yet another morning. "Colette, my sweet angel; Presea, my little one; Refill, my beautiful lady.... Shihna, my... violent demonic banshee."

"That's real pleasant, Zelos." Shihna walked out of her tent, directly past him. He watched her walk off toward the river that was nearby. He somehow wondered how he hadn't come up with a better title for the girl yet.

There was no reason that he hadn't. Maybe only that there was nothing particularly special about Shihna, just her summoning abilities. She was average height and weight with a light tan. Her eyes were dark and sparkling with contentment above her small and well-shaped nose, and slender, pink lips. She was lucky enough to have high cheekbones and a face that was shaped to hold her features perfectly. Her hair was a glossy jet in colour and was kept in a messy ponytail with her bangs hanging loose. Her body was thin and frail; yet durable and strong-framed with balence. Her torso had enough to hold a man's gaze and was emphasized by the curvature of her hips. She hid her figure under a lavender and sky tinted battle kimono which was tied tight enough to keep the garments from slipping by a strip of blush pink fabric. On top of all this, she always carried around a cherry blossom-patterned fan and had a self-satisfied look on her face as if she were pround of everything she accomplished in a day. Okay, so he thought she was gorgeous; despite being a demonic banshee.

He was a stunningly beautiful man. He was tall and athletic-looking with a creamy complexion. He was a blessed with flowing red hair that had a perfect amount of curl and wave to it. He kept it out of his face with a white headband, which also suited his personality and his need-to-be-beautiful-but-still-really-annoying-perverted attitude. His eyes were a deep blue; as the oceans during the depth of a calm night with only a sliver of moon in an otherwise clear sky. He always wore a pink vest and puffy white pants with white boots. It sickened Shihna to see a man degrade himself like that.... Wearing pink. Then again, she couldn't complain; it suited him, and it was tight on his chest. It just completed the picture of the only man she had even come close to liking in her entire life; even though she claimed to like Lloyd.

"Ah! I've got it!" Zelos called, running after her. She looked up at him with a bored expression. "My _voluptuous_ hunny!"

A hard fist landed on his head. "I'm not your hunny, Zelos!" Shihna growled.

"Ow! Shihna, that hurts!" He rubbed his head, feverishly. "You're so mean!"

"I don't enjoy being called your 'hunny'," Shihna hissed. "Maybe if you weren't so annoying I would have less reason to hurt you and enjoy it."

"But... hunny...." Another hard smack. "Shiiiinhaaaaaa!"

"I told you already, didn't I? Quit it. And I'm not 'voluptuous' either, whatever that means." She turned away from him and began to walk with a scowl lining her smooth features. _Looks like I won't get to wash up today. After this I'm going to kill him._

"It means you have big boobs." Zelos stated clearly, walking directly behind her. "Juicy, lucious, red-hot, sexy...."

"What!? Just quit it, alright?" She smacked him again. Her hand was beginning to hurt and her body temperature was beginning to rise as a bright blush spread over her cheeks. "And stop staring at my chest!"

"It's not my fault. It's so—"

SMACK!

Shihna left the redhead laying on the ground, writhing in pain. "Hmph."

*xXXx*

"Shihna? Where's Zelos?" Colette asked as the ninja returned to camp without the Chosen of Tethe'alla.

"He decided to stay back at the river for a bit." Shihna shrugged. It was _partially_ true. He _was_ back at the river; just not by his own choice.

"That's kind of funny, considering the fact that Zelos wouldn't be able to stand it if he were away from his hunnies for too long." Refill pointed out, as she flipped through an unnaturally thick history textbook.

"You're right, Professor," Lloyd said, staring off towards the forest that hid the rushing waters. "Someone should make sure he's alright."

All eyes turned towards Shihna.

"Wh-what? Why me?" She complained.

"It's so obvious that he likes you the most." Genis said, looking up at the ninja. She sighed with pure exasperation.

"Fine. But you'll _all_ hear about this later." Shihna growled turning back towards the trees.

*xXXx*

"Zelos? Zeeelooos? Idiot Chosen, where are you?" Shihna had just spent over an hour searching the banks. She knew the rest of the group wanted to leave soon, and figured that Zelos would want to find his way to his hunnies, that he'd be in the next town. She decided, however, to search just a moment longer. "This is _hopeless_. I'm never going to—"

"Shihna!"

"Nevermind, there he is." Shihna hung her head. "What do you want?"

"Did you ever notice?"

"Notice what?" She noticed something alright. Zelos was soaked head-to-toe. He had something in his hand that resembled a pen and he was writing on his arm.

"Seles is Seles backwards." He grinned.

"You think _I'm_ dumb? I pointed that out to you almost ten years ago." She was on her last nerve.

"Oh, yeah." The Chosen looked around.


	3. All I Want

**All I Want**

Shihna hadn't gotten a break from the Chosen in a whole week. Either he was in Mizuho, 'befriending the locals', as he so aptly put it; or she somehow wound up staying at his place in Meltokio. This was one of those times referring to the former. She checked her calender, muttering a few angry words in the general direction of Zelos, who sat in her living room trying to amuse himself. She was in the middle of trying to run her village, doing paperwork, and keeping Orochi out of her hair, so it was bad enough without _him_ there.

"Hey, Shihna?" A call came out from the living room, and sighing, she returned to answer it.

"I thought you promised not to talk." Shihna had been so exasperated with Zelos that she made him sign a contract saying that he was no longer allowed to speak inside Mizuho unless he was spoken to before she'd let him in her home. He had been doing quite well, she noted, until he noticed something and curiousity got the better of him. Shaking her head, she continued, "What do you want?"

"Why don't you have a puppy?" Zelos stared up at her, his feet folded infront of him like a young child. He knew Shihna hated it when he sat like that on her furniture.

"I-I don't have enough time to look after _you_, let alone a dog." Shihna's stunned look made Zelos smile brightly, like he normally did. The look turned back into the slightly annoyed expression that she usually wore, and she turned her back on him. She choked on a breath, biting her lip. "Besides, I don't really like dogs."

"Hunny? You okay?" Zelos jumped up when he noticed that she had crossed her arms, and now her form shook slightly. He moved closer and touched her shoulder gently, but she swatted him away.

"I'm fine. Leave me alone, Zelos." Shihna wiped her eyes with one sleeve, then went to her room and slammed her door out of frusteration with the Chosen. After all the time they spent together... shouldn't he remember...?

Something snapped in Zelos' head. A little rainbow-coloured fox by the name of Corrine. Mentally, he slapped himself. How could he be so stupid? Then again, he didn't think she was still upset over that. Corrine had died awhile back.... _Mental note #115, How to NOT Piss Shihna Off or Hurt Her in Any Way: don't talk about dogs or anything dog-like infront of her._ Maybe it was good of him to keep adding points and notes on how to keep Shihna happy. After all, he had never really seen her smile towards him and it would become a goal, from then on.

Cautiously, he pressed an ear to her door, listening to her soft weeping. "Shihna?"

"Go away!"

"Can I come in?"

"What do you think 'go away' means?"

"Ummm.... Yes?" He heard something hit the door, and decided he didn't want to know what it was. Instead, he leaned his back on the wall and slid down into a sitting position in which his knees were gathered to his chest. For a few moments, he listened to her. "I'm sorry Shihna.... I don't want you to cry anymore. All I want is for you to smile."


	4. I Hate Everyting About You

**I Hate Everything About You**

"He's subborn, loud-mouthed, obnoxious, perverted, self-absorbed, frusterating.... Damn it! He's Zelos!" She told her ceiling that night, finding that she couldn't fall asleep. She had finally gotten that idiotic man out of her village after he had become known fully as a 'disturber-of-the-peace', which he was. "He can't leave anything alone. He's smart, but he tries to act stupid (I don't know why _anyone_, in their right minds would do that). He's a big crybaby, and I can't stand it! I think he actually _wants_ me to hate him! Well, I hate him; he gets his wish...." The ceiling didn't respond, and Shihna sighed. She looked over at the empty space next to her. There was a chilling feeling about finally being alone. Or.... No, he was there. So she told herself, anyway. "I _still_ don't miss him yet." she assured herself, though she was beginning to feel pangs of guilt. Eventually, the feeling of him asleep next to her returned, lulling her to sleep. "I hate everything about him."

xXXx

"She's resigned, assertive, selfless to a fault, beautiful.... Damn, I've never loved anyone more!" Zelos confided into his pillow. He stared at the wall, grinning madly. He was still happy to see her, and the smile hadn't worn off yet. The incidents earlier that day were entirely his fault and he took the blame for it. The down point of the day had been seeing his hunny so angry with him. "She's involved with her village. She's loyal and... sorta clumsy, but _I_ think she's intelligent.... She's violent, tempermental, _and_ she can cry.... Actually, just the other night—" Zelos' conversation with himself continued until he realized that he could almost feel her warmth. He tried to cuddled into it, but found it to be a figment of his imagination and was instantly frowning. "It's almost like she wants me to hate her. But too bad for her. She's the only woman I'll ever love. _Ever_."


	5. Definatly Beautiful

**Definatly** **Beautiful**

"You know what's weird, Shihna?" Zelos asked, fidgeting with a small slip of coloured paper. He began to fold it into a boat-shaped hat.... Or whatever it was supposed to be.

"What?" It had been silent for almost ten consecutive seconds, and she had been hoping for a new record. "People who stick raisins up their nose?"

"Hey, I stopped doing that three years ago." The Ex-Chosen protested, setting the paper on the floor. He reached for another, but Shihna slapped his hand away. "I was going to say how much you such at origami."

"I do not suck." Shihna hissed, setting what appeared to be a cat (or maybe a frog) on the floor next to Zelos' boat. "Your origami sucks. All you can make is boats."

Zelos looked down and away in defeat. Shihna rolled her eyes, knowing full well that she was right. Zelos could be such an idiot sometimes. Finally, there was nothing but silence since Zelos couldn't think of something to defend himself with. He just furrowed his brow in deep thought. Shihna waited five seconds... ten seconds... fifteen.... The silence was unnerving and awkward; she wasn't used to it. It was so unnatural and eerie. She couldn't even hear Zelos' soft breathing, or her own for that fact. Eventually she let out a sigh and stood up, gathering all her mis-shapen figurines into a pile and throwing them out.

"I'm going to bed."

"Awwhh, but hunny—"

"Goodnight, Chosen."

He waited until he heard her door slam shut, then rose to his feet. Looking around for any signs of life, he grabbed one of Shihna's little disfigured animals out of the trash and brushed it off. It wasn't too dirty, but still. "I don't know 'bout you, hon... but I definatly think it's beautiful."


	6. By Your Side

By Your Side

It couldn't have been a more normal day. The sun had been out and shining; only a few puffs and wisps of cloud covered the sky. It had been like that for a few days. Birds were singing and Shihna was actually happy to be out; and because of that particular day being so beautiful, she decided to walk some of the way to Meltokio. She was sure there was a Summon Spirit that would take her to Meltokio if it started to rain or if walking began to take to long. She was confident, though, that nothing could disturb the peace.

By noon, however, the clouds had rolled in, darkening the sky for miles around her. She hung her head, remembering that there was supposed to be a surprize thunderstorm sometime that week. She felt so stupid, letting the good weather get the better of her. But it didn't matter. It wasn't raining yet, and she could see the city clearly ahead of her. If she ran... maybe.... No chance. It was still too far. She shook her head and kept walking.

It all happened so quickly. She heard a growling sound and before she could react, she was falling. there was water around her. It had begun to rain, and she couldn't see a thing through it. Only the dark shape of her attacker. It was some sort of monster, but she could no longer make out the shape; her vision was beginning to blur. Breath escaped her in sort gasps, mostly from the pain in her back, and she shamed herself.

_Am I a ninja of Mizuho or not? I let my guard down for five seconds and look where it leaves me; lying in the rain bleeding to death with no one for miles to find me. Eventually the King will get worried about my failure to arrive on time.... And Zelos.... Nevermind he wouldn't—_

The rain stopped. It stopped, but she could still hear it. She forced herself to look up. Something was over her, blocking the rain from her. Some kind of magical force field? No... an umbrella. Her eyes travelled to who or whatever was holding it. Perhaps it had gotten stuck in a tree? Yeah right. How many trees did she see that were pink and red.

"Hey, hunny." She knew that voice, no matter how much her head distorted it and rejected it from the lack of blood. "You'll be alright. I promise."

She felt herself being lifted off the ground and she looked up into his eyes. "Z-zelos...?"

"Shihna.... Ssshh.... You'll be okay. Shihna?"

"I'm tired."

"Don't fall asleep, hon. Stay awake. Promise me... promise me you'll live."

Shihna nodded, but didn't comprehend. She closed her eyes and fell into darkness.

xXXx

"Am I.... Am I dead?" She sat up. The room was so bright. Shihna sheilded her eyes and looked around. If she was, then Heaven must be an alternate universe with Zelos' room in it.

_Maybe Alternate-World Zelos isn't an insensitive jerk._

"Shihna! You're alive! You're awake... and ALIVE!"

Shihna's eyes darted to the door where her 'favourite' redhead had just burst in. "Zelos? Where am I?"

"Dumb question, hunny. But, you're okay! I thought you were dead, and...." Zelos stopped and shut the door, walking over to her. He sat on the edge of the bed and wiped some hair from her eyes. "I thought I was going to lose you. For a second, I thought everything that's precious to me was going to leave and I was scared. But, you're okay."

Shihna blinked a few times, then reminded herself to die later. She leaned foreward, wrapping her arms around him, even though it strained her back. "I'll always live Zelos... if it means you won't cry, you big baby. I'll always be by your side."


End file.
